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Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Part 2. What my children are teaching me about being a wife.

As most people in my life know, I have added a girl to my two boys and my scale of the sexes is now, somewhat, balanced.  With all the time I've been having to observe my little madam and add my experience with her to those I have with the boys....I've discovered something about my self.  I want to be a better wife because of my children.

This is the second post that I am sharing about a share a few things I have observed and intend to pursue as a wife.

2.  Listening to my husband.

I am a chatterbox and struggle with being a good listener.
I have noticed with my children that I have a tendency to tell them how they are feeling or what they mean without taking time to really listen to them as they express myself. Guess what? I do the same thing to my husband!

The occasional conflict that we have is mostly come about as a result of poor communication skills - mainly on my part. On a effective listening scale of 1 to 10, I think I am 5 1/2.  The times I have taken to listen, really pay attention to my children (even the cries of my newborn) have taught me something different about them. .  There have been situations I assumed to be of concern to my big son and he thought nothing of them. Other times, my toddler will be expressing his taste in something in the negative and I would try and impress a response in the affirmative to him. Really, stifling his freedom to like or dislike within reason.  Can you imagine what has my husband has been going through? I can admit with humility that I have heard him say, "You're not listening to me..." Proverbs 18:13 chastises me, "To answer before listening-- that is folly and shame." (NIV). 

None of the excuses I can dream up would be justifiable explanation of me not taking time to listen to and properly respond to the thoughts, words and feelings of the good and perfect-for-me man who is my husband. :)  I am learning more about him, his desires, his likes and dislikes as I take time to listen.  Our relationship is optimized when I make the effort.

Good listening affects all areas of our lives, does it not? An added benefit? Even in the mess of my struggles the voice my heavenly Father  is even  clearer as I listen.

God help me, its a struggle that I am consciously seeking to overcome.  I know my husband appreciates it. :) Do any of you struggle with this issue?  How do you rate in the skill of listening?


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    Pablo from Argentina

  2. Good listening is so important. I really agree with you there. I also found that sometimes not only did I not listen well but I did not communicate well either. It took me quite a while to learn to figure out what I was feeling and be clear about that, not expecting others to guess! There's always more to learn in life but we can only keep trying.